Thursday, 14 March 2013

"Love you more than those bitches before..."


So it's like 1:30am and I'm watching P.s I love you and my husband is a little ill at the moment and when he is ill- he likes to be left alone so I thought I would leave him be and watch my girly films that bore the living fuck out of his manly self. When I'm alone I have this stupid tendency (as we all do) to think. Now me and thinking have never ever ever been very good mates but for a while now we are actually kinda amicable- instead of wanting to cry until I can't breathe and perhaps contemplating doing something stupid I now think about things that I like and how fucking lucky I am. Okay so yeah, I'm on the sofa, girly movie on, tears, husbands ill - I'm like in full girly teary mess mode and then here it comes, this of all things comes into my head- 

I've been asked "how do you know that he's The One?" So many times, by friends, by teachers, by my family and I usually say the same thing that all people do "you just do". Now, right now, tonight I figured out how you know... You know that he or she is the One when you can see them and them only in your life, when you know you could give anything up for them, when you know that they would give up all their hopes and dreams for you or even share them with you and you would do exactly the same, when you know that you would change anything and everything about yourself just to please them but also know that you don't have to, when each and every single one of your insecurities don't feel like insecurities when you are around them, when all you want is them all day, every day, all the time, every second of the day, when your heart actually feels like it may just fall out of your chest at the mere thought of them not being in your life, when you know you can be so angry to the point when you could actually kill them or so hurt that you think you might die of a broken heart or so upset that you could kill yourself but the fact that you love them will never change, when no matter what they ask of you it never feels like too much, when their crazy fits with yours, when it feels like God kept a little bit of them after he finished making them to put into you, when it feels like they can take away your world as give it to you all at the same time, when the last cookie is for them, when you can't help but think of their well-being, when every song/film/book isn't just about them it's about both of you. 

You know they are the One when every single fibre of your being compels you to know it.

If you want to ever help a teenage girl understand life sit her down and let her watch 17 Again, The Time Travellers Wife, P.s I love you and then give her Leaving The World, The Self-Preservation Society and My Sisters Keepers. If she doesn't feel anything but renewed shes a hopeless one.

Anyways... Night. 

Love,

Monica 
            xxx

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