Thursday, 19 December 2013

Compilation of crap I have said on my FB

I think I'm going to make this a regular. I quite like you lot knowing what random things I say on a day to day basis but like I hate those people that use their blog like a Facebook and post like three sentences or just like loads of picture it's so annoying. Tbh I only started this because my Facebook and emails kept getting hacked by some people so I thought I would save them the job and just post all the juicy bits on here in a public forum where they can just read it. I think it's funny that some people have no lives yet judge mine. Talk about gag yourself with a spoon. Ugh anyways! Here we go...


The person that says the thing you least want to hear and the person that always says the right thing are good people.

Buying something great and being like “OMG this person is going to love this! It's funny and has meaning and is so them! Yaaay!” and then getting it home and realising this thing is the most difficult thing to wrap but not wanting to get a bag/box for it because you know you won't be able to find one that matches your ├╝ber cool wrapping paper and instantly regretting buying the damn thing.

Ugh - Christmas struggles.

Lol. Looking through Facebook's suggested friends and all I see are other peoples kids, ugly couples and single girls that take pictures with their mates to confuse lads as to who they are adding, the 8/10 brunette or the 4/10 dyed blonde.

The new Chanel N°5 advert is just perfection.

I just licked my elbow.

I love first generation antihistamines.

I just want to take Nicole Scherzinger on holiday. She literally needs a detox, hug, icecream and a bitch sesh. 

Poor baby x

My hubby posted this but its still funny:

Monica Thalukdher is currently rolling around the sofa shouting "I'm itchy but I don't know where I'm itchy" help diiiiipu


When I hear about other people's relationships they always sound so strange to m and then when people hear about my relationship/marriage they are like "I want that". It's like huh?

Hubby? I love your face.

Gucci Mane likes feet and bubble baths.

Oooookay.


Lol. So ASDA delivery dude comes to drop off the shopping and he's like "That a lot of putting away". I'm like "I enjoy it. It's therapeutic". He's look at me and says "you must be a good wife". I'm like "nope I just have OCD". He laughs, but I'm pretty sure it was a nervous laugh.

Am I a good wife?

So The hubby calls me up this morning and asks me about a Girls Aloud track and then gets his boyfriend Neil I-don't-know-what-his-second-name-is to prank call me and then calls me again to ask if he can speak to Monica Thalukdher - who I informed him has emigrated to Botswana with her blonde, voluptuous Venezuelan girlfriend having killed and buried husband in the new foundations of the Tetley's site.

So Lunch with the hubby and we walk past this phone box, and inside it, on a post-it note says the words "MASSAGES" and a phone number. 

Hygienic.

My favourite thing about meeting with the hubby is seeing all the office people completely perplexed as to why I'm here, the face is all "but you're not meant to be here!".

Bitches, how about you have a conversation with a girl before you form your half-assed opinion?

We do this thing, like every 6th is a  special day so yeah this was on the 6th:
Candles, chairs with bows, kitchen towels in a loveheart, milkshakes and toast with lovehearts and initials.

Breakfast with my Hubby.

Kissing profile picture of couples who kiss ugly. 

I don't want to see that shit.

Excuse me, My hubby?

I just wanted to tell you that I am madly, irrevocably, manically, undeniably, unavoidably, perfectly, crazily, painfully, accidentally, blissfully, unequivocally, fanatically in love with you. 

Reh.

Planning to racially abuse my mate then drug and dress her.

I swear I'm gunna get banned for my status'. Lol.

So that's it!

Lol I hope you lot find it as funny as I do. 

Love,

Monica
            xxx

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