Thursday, 5 December 2013

What the actual fuck?

OMG I just want to tell the person that googled 'breastfeeding and my tits' and somehow ended up on my blog that you are my hero. You must seriously be frustrated with your tits if you need to google it. I'm not a mother so I've no real advice for you apart from cold white cabbage leaves on boobs help calm soreness, oh and primrose oil helps too... So I'm told :/ lol it's no wonder everyone thinks I'm a lesbian all I talk about are boobs and girls! 

OMG speaking of girls to the person that googled 'Amy Wilberton porno' and then decided "fuck having a wank! I might just read this girls blog instead" thank you for your time LOL seriously that's so funny like I have google hits which is nice bit it's usually things like the name of my blog and such, I wonder what will be the strangest thing someone googles and then ends up only blog. 

So I was thinking I wonder if I have offended anyone on here because if I have, then you should probably stop reading my blog. I'm just going to get more so. Cuz like I have view from places like Isreal and Algeria and I can't imagine my humour and generally me tbh would go down too well in places like that... I'm obviously wrong though. My favourite place that I get view from is Russia which is where after the UK and US I get most of my views from like I can understand America and Britain liking me but I just never thought anywhere else in th world would. I mean don't get me wrong I love the fact that people are reading my blog, hopefully laughing at me and my ridiculous ways but I just never thought it would be something that would happen on nearly every continent. It's so cool because I find out about places I never even knew existed or have heard of only a few times.

 A friend of mine just told me to wash my mouth out due to my vile profanity laden speech lol I have all but one thing to say to that - FUCK OFF!

OMG I think I was dying the other day. Like my back felt like it was snapping in half. Have you watched the film Stardust? You know when Septimus gets all voodoo dolled and the witch is like controlling him and he is trying to kill Tristan that like snapping noise he makes when she stands him upright was what I think my back was doing. It was soooo bad. My husband decided it was funny he was like "awwwww my little bidi" I'm like "AAAAAHHHH?!??. 

I know I'm going to give you an insight into my social media habits. 

So lets start with YouTube! I'm obsessed in YouTube especially the beauty gurus. 

I love this girl, Keren
www.youtube.com/beautyklove

She makes like the best tutorials - lots of no heat curls and such. She also has a blog and is super easy to follow too. 

I love CutePolish- I'm pretty sure you all know her!

I spend a lot of time on the Sky news site just catching up on the world and such. I'm on Facebook like my freaking life depends on it - it is so bad. I'm trying to like cut down instead of a billon status' like maybe a million. Idk that's it's really. I'm not on twitter anymore, I'm not on Instagram or tumblr I don't do that kinda thing really. I'm not really that good at takeoff pictures of a cup and being like OMG! Coffee!! It's like who gives a fuck? I'm sure there are people who actually use Tumblr properly but like I don't get Instagram. Tbh I miss Bebo, it was so much better. You could send love, have videos on your profile that would start playing when someone clicked on your page, you could have quizzes and polls, pictures and skins! OMG Bebo skins were the best like ugh. Facebook in comparison is kinda shit. I never had MySpace - wasn't my scene. 

OMG it is so windy outside. Like I'm pretty sure when I go out I'm going to get blow away! I'm so damn sleepy. Like I can barely keep my little eyes open. Ugh. 

Anyways now I'm just waffling shit. I really need to stop blogging gene I've nothing to say. It just ends up as nonsensical verbal vomit... Vomit is such a gross word. Vomit. Yuck. 

As always,

Love,

Monica 
          xxx

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