Thursday, 27 February 2014

My Facebook out of context...

So here goes. 

Wait like now I actually like football and watch it. Oh dear. I added it to my Facebook.

Hang on because I'm a convert is it okay that I don't support my birthplaces team? Idek if Truro have one. Also is it okay to support the team my husband supports out of loyalty to him and because I actually do like them?

When someone wants to add you on Facebook and you're like "oh yeah sure! But first let me show you this thing I know you're super interested in and will for sure start a super long conversation.

Look the duvet and bed ends just over there. You can do it. You can get out of bed. 

Or you could stay here... Where it is warm, soft and cosy and you don't have to move... — feeling lame.

The extremist pro-lifers are total head-case terrorists. Going on about how “God hates you”, who are you to tell God who to hate? I'm vaguely certain that God would be more angry with you if you bought this child into the world and caused it pain and sadness, maybe even in the future a domino effect of anguish and hurt. Protesting outside of abortion clinics, threatening to harm those wishing to have an abortion or those who perform abortions and holding those mortifying pictures. You have a child because you wanted a child, you want that (for example) teenaged rape victims child to live so much, how about you raise it? You think that scarring this poor girl is making her decision any easier? Step the fuck down and go raise the child/children you have with all the passion and time you are using up on worrying about someone else's child because at the end of the day you have no say in another's life. 

What I want to know is who the fuck takes those pictures? I mean which sick, twisted son-of-a-bitch is okay with taking pictures of disembowelled foetus'. The worst bit is they actual handle the foetus' to put the tiny body parts of this child on a coin or their finger as if that makes their point any more clear - it doesn't, it just makes you a sicker individual. 

Choice is the right way as long as there is information and support, you have many options, choose the one that is right for you.

So then these post are from my hubby to me:

Monica just made really yummy homemade pizza but i accidentally sat on it and dragged it from my butt to the floor... She isn't too keen on butt pizza

Monica just said "my boobs hurt put your face in them" we have a funny marriage lol!!!

Would you still love me if I was smelling butt weed or drove a skoda?

Ummm...

Then he said:
Nothing worse than butt weed, man.
Anyways...
When my hubby elbows my boobs, it kills and I want to cry then poke him in the eye... or knee him.

My hubby: My dandruff is really healthy

Is it me or does Lee Ryan have a giant fiery dick tattooed on his back?

Me: Hey, wanna see Justin Bieber smoking a cigar and looking like a dick?

My hubby: Yes, I wanna see Justin Bieber looking like he is smoking a dick.

Me: What is it with you and dick?

My hubby posted this
Monica just said: Stand up when I walk in the room and hold the chair out for me... Not the type... I don't shaaaaaaave!!!

Casually watching Jonathan Ross and Hubby turns to me and says

“When I'm fifty I want to plank Dermot O'Leary”.

Creeping on the hubby while he lifts weights.

Me watching The Taste on TV and then there is an Asian chick called Claire.

Me: Why had she got a white chick name? (I know, I know one to talk) unless her name is claradeep or some shit
Rajib : What? Claradick?
Me: why is everything about dick with you?
Rajib: I don't know, I can't help it.

Okay...


1950s housewives were so perfect minus the emotional oppression and beating obviously.

- Your Husband is #1
- Look perfect
- Be house proud 
- Be socially adept 
- Plan like a meticulous bitch

My hubby: I'm so not looking forward to this drive!!! 

Me: do you want to buy some drugs???

My hubby: huh??? What???


So I think that's enough of that... Lol. I hope these don't seem weirder out of context... They're pretty odd in context tbh. 


Aaaaaaanyways,

Love,

Monica
             xxx

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