Tuesday, 25 March 2014

Ummm... I'm not even sure...

So like the past few weeks have been really random and I've been super busy so I've not really been blogging or facebooking but like there are a few and they are as odd as usual so here they are!


So I'm pretty sure Jay-Z is never bored of Beyonce... No wonder she looks like shes been dipped in lube.

Meet me on the 6th floor
I know you ain't a model

You should let me take some pics doe


Reasons why my hubby loves me: I can eat a foot-long Subway.


I literally cannot wait for my date with Jenn-i tomorrow. Date. Potato. Hahaha.

 Amy Adams and Ilsa Fisher ARE just the same damn person, okay? Deal with it.
 I can never get it right who is who.


So I email the hubby at work and his server gives me an auto replay and I'm looking at my phone like "Do you know who I am server?? Do you? I'm not a client or a candidate! I am his wife! Do not auto reply me!! I'm a bit too annoyed about this. 


"OMG. "She has links in Cuba. She is down with the Cubans". Hahahaha.



OMG OMG OMG!!!!! It's your birthday. OMG. Like seriously though! You came into this world many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many (etc.), years ago and now look at you. You're an amazing mother and person, I'm not just saying that - you're a weirdo but you're amazing. I hope this year keeps teaching you things and never gets boring. I love you so much, Maa. I can't wait to see you!!!!! I hope you get your little day of peace. Remember
, no smiling and surgery of the cosmetic kind is an advance in medical history, they are your friends ;D hahahaha!!! But seriously... I'm lucky to have you, Maa.  

So Mila Kunis is the new face of Jim Bean bourbon, now that is an advertising campaign. Seriously one of the hottest girls of the century drinking a man's drink. It's just perfect. It's like a white shirt on a naked female form or a topless women making a big, greasy fry-up.

So this guy has been outside in the cold for about an hour now with this thing that looks and sounds like a sander but I guess it's for cleaning. Just wash your car, mate. Believe me it's quicker.

Happy birthday my hubby! Thirty. The big 3-0. Goddammit you are so old. Like really old, man. Are you gunna go through your mid life-crisis now? You know highlights in your hair, tight clothing, cars, turning up in places where you're too old to be and everyone is like at least 10 years younger than you, omg you already have the young, hot home wrecker with a face like siren and a perfect bikini body covered! Hahaha, of that statement the actual facts are that I do most definitely do have a face and also do have body like limbs and stuff, they are true. With that age comes a lot of things apart from like grey hair (of which you have none and I have many), weight gain and wrinkles... Those years came with a lot of emotions, decisions and growing up, and it is all written in every action and reaction you make and over this past year; you've changed so much - in so many ways and I am really proud to be a part of the making of that person. You make me smile and cry. You make me angry and feel so safe. You've helped me understand so many things and helped me grow in so many ways. I love you with all my heart because of everything you are and everything you're not. You're an amazing person (when you want to be hahaha j/k) and you've made me realise, albeit slowly, that I'm not too bad myself. I love you with everything, forever and ever and ever, times infinity, plus infinity, to the power of infinity... Infinity, infinity and everything fullstop. Reh.Thirty. The big 3-0. Goddammit you are so old. Like really old, man. Are you gunna go through your mid life-crisis now? You know highlights in your hair, tight clothing, cars, turning up in places where you're too old to be and everyone is like at least 10 years younger than you, omg you already have the young, hot home wrecker with a face like siren and a perfect bikini body covered! Hahaha, of that statement the actual facts are that I do most definitely do have a face and also do have body like limbs and stuff, they are true. With that age comes a lot of things apart from like grey hair (of which you have none and I have many), weight gain and wrinkles... Those years came with a lot of emotions, decisions and growing up, and it is all written in every action and reaction you make and over this past year; you've changed so much - in so many ways and I am really proud to be a part of the making of that person. You make me smile and cry. You make me angry and feel so safe. You've helped me understand so many things and helped me grow in so many ways. I love you with all my heart because of everything you are and everything you're not. You're an amazing person (when you want to be hahaha j/k) and you've made me realise, albeit slowly, that I'm not too bad myself. I love you with everything, forever and ever and ever, times infinity, plus infinity, to the power of infinity... Infinity, infinity and everything fullstop. Reh.


My nose itches. My eyes itch. My eyebrows itch. My lips itch. My ears itch.My head itches. My hands itch. My feet itch. Everything everywhere itches. If anyone loves me knock me into October.


I think I'm going to high-five myself in face with a chair.


So my voice has gotten really deep lately, so hubby tells me I sound like Frank Bruno. To which I respond "and you find that attractive! What does that say about you?!". My husband who I know to be straight looks at me and says "I like black men". Ummmm...


So omg hubby just ruined and then resurrected Mark Walberg's coolness.


Even before 7am I've told four people that I love them. I love to love people that I love and that love me too. Lol.


Cooking nice things takes a long time. At least I have Barbie Fairytopia: Mermaidia.


OMG so Chris Lilley looks like Elliot Smith.


Not gunna lie Luisa Zissman does have a great rack.


So I drop off lunch (instead of meeting up with the hubby, cuz I bailed on him) and his colleague Joey says all the boys are jealous of his lunch, smiled all the way home.


Look stuff that needs doing. Eyes... W-what are you doing? Eyes? Why are you closing?! Eyes! Stop! S-stop... Sto... Mmmmm... *dribble and snore*


Anyways...

Love,

Monica


         xxx 

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