Well I was and it's been pretty awesome, sometimes hard but awesome. It was after we moved that I kinda figured that something was afoot so I got a test and there it was - positive. Two little lines that tell you that you are carrying another human. I didn't feel different. I didn't look different. I didn't sound different. But there was something inside me that was totally different - a little new life, completely unique.
I told my husband - he jumped up and down with happiness and I don't mean metaphorically - he actually jumped and grabbed me and squeezed me and squashed me. I got a lot of kisses and smiles. We told our peoples and that was that... my pregnancy began. I was pregnant and it was pretty cool.
Good God. The morning sickness - it was the worst. I was being sick every morning, just this horrid yellow bile stuff that burnt my throat. It was so bad, I was really sleepy and super snappy and just a bit of a dick - but somewhere it sorta changed I'm not entirely sure when but then I was super chirpy and really happy, like I have so much energy, granted in bursts that don't last for long lol but I get so much done. I have to get everything done like I have to. It's crazy- like I can get everything done so quick.
In general I was pretty surprised with how well it went - I was told I wouldn't have kids like pretty much ever, and if by some pure, total and utter miracle I did somehow get pregnant then either me or the baby would survive, not both but it's been pretty good - the baby is really healthy. He grew perfectly and was medically on point. Sorry I keep switching between tenses, I'm still not sure if I'm writing this for when he is actually born or if I'm going to finish it later. This whole post is going to be like that.
I keep watching "What To Expect When You're Expecting" like over and over it's so weird.
I'm very tired like between the burst of energy which is a lot of the time but then again I'm like Queen of Laze lol. My appetite is badass- I can eat everything and I mean everything, even the things I hate like : coriander, vanilla, wasabi, rice, curry, meat, oranges.
We have a few names picked out but we want to like meet him - find out what he is like. You know what his views on marmite is, if he believes in the tooth fairy - important shit. Lol j/k - we just don't want to name him before we meet him, it's just something we both find really odd. How can you name someone without meeting them, a name is the first thing you usually find out about a person. Like I was named wrong and it was so strange not really feeling like my name belonged to me.
Omg when it was like really hot. I couldn't quite deal with it. I've never been someone who was good with heat but with my extra little hot water bottle I was not doing well. It's funny cuz you get dehydrated like super quick so you drink lots and like 5 seconds later you have to pee, it's like I wouldn't be so dehydrated if I just kept some of that fluid, dumbass body.
So yesterday was the first time we had to go the the FMAU - Fetal Movement Assessment Unit cuz he hadn't moved in ages and I was a mess. I was so terrified - turns out he was absolutely fine so yeah... that was intense. I've never been so scared in my life.
Omg Idk what it is about me and like bengali cooking at the moment - like I keep majorly craving bengali stuff and but we live in Exeter where it is about as white as it gets, like I see another Asian and I'm like "there are more of us!! Omg... you look so out of place..." lol. So yeah I kinda got into making at home, which is cool and stuff but it doesn't really taste the same, like it tastes pretty good but not exactly how it should. But it means my cooking skills have got better, they really sucked before now they mildly suck.