Tuesday, 15 July 2014

So here's the thing...

I get slated for the way I am... a lot. I have spent so much of my life pretending to be so many different people but now I have me and I am more than happy with me. The people that know me and spend their lives with me love me and are also happy with the person I am. If you don't like me that is fine. I don't live for you. I don't care about your opinion of me - it is a perception you, yourself have created after only meeting me a few times and not really knowing me.


 I am an offensive person I do not in anyway condone my behavior, however I do defend my right to be the way I am. As a reader whether you know me or not you don't really have the right to judge me as a person, you do however have the right to judge the opinions that I express and also have your own, use it - I was never one to say no to a bit of bitching. I am Asian - I say racially offensive things, use racially incorrect terms, make racially stereotypical statements - but they are not in anyway serious or meant to cause any type of hurt. I say sexist things. I make jokes - I like to think they are funny. Some people may find them funny, others may not but I write because I enjoy doing so and hope someone, somewhere will read it and laugh so for that moment, I was a reason a stranger laughed.

I wear western clothes, I don't even but my own clothes. I'm too lazy for that shit, I hate shopping because it is literally too much effort. Carrying the clothes around, trying them on, choosing them, traipsing around different shops is all just too much for me, my hubby has to bribe me with food to get me to go outside and let him buy me stuff. He chooses things he thinks would look  nice on me or things he would like to see me in and just picks the colours he knows I wear - grey, white, black, green, beige, blue - that is pretty much my pallet and he knows thatShoes are the same - he buys them for me, so many times he has come home with them and I have had no idea that he even knew I liked them.  My nails are usually painted - he is the one that chooses these polishes. I am spoiled little madam, I know this. He spoils me so so so much, but it's not like I encourage it.

My husband is one of the most amazing men I have ever met. Don't get me wrong he is a pain in my ass sometimes but I love him so so so much and he is a really loving husband. He spoils me rotten. He adores taking me out to eat and out. He loves showing me off to he friends and people he knows. He never bats an eyelid when it comes to spending money on me and always want me to have the best of everything but that is not why I love him - I love him for how loving, caring and protective he is of me. He makes me feel so safe and happy. I love his ability to make me laugh until I can't breathe. I love him for his intelligence - he is so smart and he loves to learn new things. I adore his child-like mannerisms, the fact he can laugh at people falling over and loves sweets and in some ways is so very innocent and unable to put the obvious into context. I love how much food he can eat - I have never in my life seen someone so slim eat so much food! I love cooking for him because I know he enjoys eating it so much, he isn't fussy and is always happy when I make something even if it is just a cheese toastie. He is respectful and kind to me. He is gentle. His smile and laugh are infectious, his dimples are so cute. When he holds me I know God took time to make sure I fit him perfectly - little things like my hands are just the right size for his, I am just the right height for him - like if I wear heels I'm still in line with his lips and if I'm in flats I have to tip-toe. My face fits snuggly in his hands when he holds my face and kisses me. I just fit him perfectly in every way. All the things I love about him most people don't even know he has. I love how he is such a headstrong person but if I say I don't think something is a good idea he won't do it - the people that cause problems in our life have no idea how many time your asses have been saved because he has looked at me and known I would be hurt if he reacted to your actions. You don't know who he really is and you don't know who I am - so butt out of our lives.

I love my husband so much. He is my best friend. We share so much in common, from music to movies, we even watch the same tv. We have a similar humor, outlook on life, perception of religion, view on society. The places we aren't the same, we are different in a way the broadens our understanding or complements our own view. You may not understand how we work or how we are happy but believe me we are and that is all that matters. Many people have been given chance after chance to be a part of our lives but time and time again they have fucked up and made us see that for our own sanity and marriage we cannot have them as a part of our lives, all we want is to live a peaceful happy life that has minimal drama. Is that so much to ask for? No.

If you for a second could have the love and life that we share for a single second; you would understand everything.


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