Tuesday, 16 December 2014

How about fuck off?

Honestly if I hear one more fucking person making a decision that I will be having more children I will actually punch someone. In the face. Hard. People keep asking me or rather telling me I'm going to have another kid. They're like "oh, so when's the next one coming?" of when I say it's my first and last baby I get the response "oh you can't just have one! He needs a friend". 

Here's the deal. Fuck off trying to foist another child upon me. You like children so bad there are currently just under 70,000 children in the UK that are in care, go and adopt one of them because they are children that are already here and need to be loved. 

And here are my reasons why

1. I don't want anymore. 
I keep being told I being selfish and unfair to my child. To be honest I could not disagree more and I'll tell you why:

I come from big nuclear family and so does my husband and we both agree trying to divide time between children is hard. No matter what you do at some point or other one will feel left out or jealous. I will never have the issue of the "middle child" or being soft on the youngest because they are my last baby, I will never have to hear "who is your favourite?" Or "who do you love more?". I will never have to forfeit ones event for another's because they clash, one will never be over looked because the other needs more of me at the time, one will never have to make sacrifices for the other. There will never be any sibling rivalry. My child will only know that he is and always will be the centre, the be all and end all, the alpha and omega of his parents worlds when it comes to children. He will never feel the need to compete with anyone because he never had to as a child. He will never compare himself to anyone because as a child he was his own person. He will have the opportunity to be a well rounded, whole person because I am lucky enough to be able to invest as much time as I want in being a mother and making sure every single one of my child's needs are fulfilled.

2. Pregnancy and Child labor
It was an experience - one which I will now look upon with a smile. Pregnancy was a wonderful test if I'm brutally honest - it was mentally and physically exhausting but also so amazing but I wouldn't want to repeat it. My labor wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be but it was hard. It is one of the hardest things I have ever done and I had a perfect support system around me but it isn't something I could do again. I know my limits.

3. My husband
He doesn't want anymore either. I am the child that was only wanted by one parent and believe me it's not nice when you figure/find out. Having a child together is exactly that - it's together, every single aspect. If his mind was to ever change then there would be a conversation to be had.

4. My son
Yup. My son is my fourth and final reason to not have anymore kids - I never want him to hurt more than he has to and I know being away from siblings is hard. It's heartbreakingly hard but inevitable, life will take you down you're own path and away from your loved ones, that's just the way it is. He will never have to worry about anyone like I do my siblings- being the eldest is a great joy but also a hard task. He will never feel guilty for his choices because of the emotional impact it will have on them. I want him to be able to grow his own personality and be able to totally unique if it so please him. There really is no one else in the planet like him. He will always have that. He will grow up and be able to live his life completely independent. I feel guilt every day for missing out on the mundane, day-to-day aspects of my siblings lives. He will find his person when he grows up and live happily ever after. 

If either my husband or myself were change our minds then that is our decision. As of right now, and for a long time before we only want on child. I respect other peoples choice to have multiple babies so why is it so difficult for people to respect my choice. You don't see me saying "hey, quit breeding already. Don't you think you've had enough now? Isn't pregnancy just too hard though?". No, because I'm not so stupid as to think that everyone must be the same as me. Step off my fucking uterus. 

I keep hearing that "he will be lonely", well no not really. I'm a stay-at-home mother for precisely that reason so I may devote my time and efforts to raising my child. He will always have me to play with. He will always have me to come to. He will always be one of my best friends. He has so many people to love and care for him, that will be around for many, many, many years - all of different ages, with different personalities and experiences. He will never be lonely because my husband or I will always be there.

So there. 

Love,

Monica
             xxx

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