Thursday, 30 July 2015
Ode to Sahi
Ode to Sahi
I remember the day you were born.
So fragile and new.
The first time I saw you I wept, for fear you would not survive- you tiny frame didn't look capable of life but a decade has passed and here you are.
My little brother. I love you, little brother.
I'm sorry. I made you a promise that day, the same I made our sister - that I would always look after you. I have failed to keep this promise but please do not hold this against me for I love you more than any sister could love a brother. And though I will keep trying to keep this, I apologize in advance for the times I will fall short and not honor this.
You are so similar to myself and I know that it should make it easier for me to understand you but if I'm honest I don't particularly enjoy my own company and find myself irritating and unfortunately for you I pawned that off onto you. I will try harder to love you and be there more.
I like to think I taught you how to be weird like me and I'm sorry I find the very qualities I taught you annoying. It is my fault not yours.
You are smart and funny. You're electric with excitement and energy and that is sometimes tiring but it's not your fault that I'm old and miserable! You've grown so much but please don't lose the little things that are so essential to you.
Be loving and caring yet do not allow other to hurt you, including me. Be thirsty for knowledge and read books forever. Wear your heart on your sleeve and forget to wash the shirt. Laugh incessantly and be the joker, however maybe learn when to stop and when things stop being funny.
I love you little brother, or should I say "just" brother. Your height rivals my own and let's face it - you're not so little anymore.
I'm sorry for the days after I got married where you hurt, the days where you miss me, the days I hurt you. I'm sorry for calling you names and being mean.
I hope you will always come to me for anything you need and know I will do my ear to help. I may not be a hero but I'd like to be a helping hand.
So, go. Go into the world and have a great time, create memories and relationships. Find yourself and know I'll be here when you do, in the meantime while you still search for who you are and while you grow; please afford me the understanding that I still see you as a toddler and I'm struggling with your adolescence.
I love you little brother. Or should I say "just" brother.
Lots of love,