Saturday, 21 November 2015

I am a high achiever

Why do some people my age feel sorry for me? Why do they ask "do you wish you'd married later?" or the say "I would have at least gone to uni" and "you have barely even lived!". Why were my teachers so disappointed when I said I wasn't going to be continuing education? Because I had so much potential and it was a waste of my talent? My potential and talent hasn't been somehow dissolved, it is still there; except now I'm not using for a test or a piece of coursework, I am not in a classroom answering questions.  I get to use my brain when I want to, I am not forced to. I learn all the time, at the moment I am learning Makaton - at my own pace, of my own will. You don't need to look down at me because I'm (in your eyes) "just a housewife" or feel bad because (in your opinion) "I didn't get to live out my freedom". You don't need to concern yourself at all with my wellbeing. 

To be frank: Dude. Back. The. Fuck. Off. 

My biggest achievement is being happy.

I am happy with the life I live. I am happy with my husband and the relationship we have. I am happy with the beautiful son we have bought into this world. 

I'm happy with the person I now am, I'm proud of the wife and mother I am. So why don't you just do you?

Let me try and break it down for you as best I can... You know when you look for a job and they say "must have this-many-years experience" and you're just like "how am I meant to get that, if no fucker will hire me?". Well it's a bit like that. There are people from the generation before you that are doing the job you want with none of the pieces of paper and years of training you have but they are regarded as better and more qualified because they have been doing the job so long, they know the ins and outs better than you ever will, you may have all the programs and processes on your computer but they have a better understanding of their clientele and the industry. I may not have the qualifications you have but I have experience in actual life. Things you just can't seem to get down, I have figured. I can run a home - to you washing up, laundry and cooking isn't really important but do you remember how much you loved being at home? Your mum kept you fed, clean and happy, well I get to be that now, that feeling you got when you came home to your favourite meal or got in to bed with clean sheets- I am the supplier of that feeling. Responsibility - I am raising a child, I am a mother; darling, you can barely look after yourself and the concept of being responsible for another human is terrifying. Commitment- I have a marriage whereas you are still looking over at your boyfriend/girlfriend and thinking "I hope this lasts". I'm no longer a newly wed, I'm an old hand at being married. I'm not a new mum anymore, I've got this parenting shit down. I'm life-ing. I'm adulting the shit out of life. 

I may not have a conventional job or a degree but I am a high achiever in life.

I. Am. Happy.

You are still working to get to your happy ever after- the job, the house, cars, partner, kids, holidays, whatever. I'm 22 and I'm not lost anymore. I'm found. I know whom I am (for the most part). I wake up every morning knowing I am doing what I love so who are you to tell me my life and passions are meaningless and small. All I ever dreamed of as a child was to be happy, job ambitions came and went for me but wanting a family and being this happy was a constant. 

Your dreams are yours, stop pissing all over my parade and belittling my happiness. Stop dreaming for me and telling me my happiness is not what you want, guess what? You don't have to want it because you aren't me. 
My sister wants to be a dentist and my brother (atm) wants to work in Formula One as a tech, you know what I say to them every time we talk about it?

"Go for it!"I tell them to work hard and achieve the goals. I remind them time and time again that if they want something in life they have to work their asses off to get it and then even harder to maintain it. What ever they believe in, what ever they want, what ever they feel is right for them I support them whole heartedly because it is what makes them happy. 

Does this look unhappy to you?
That's my wedding day. 

Does this look unsatisfied to you?

Thats me with my son. 

Does this look like I'm wasting my talent?

This is my life. This is my job. This is my happiness. 

What do you want the most?




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